A Week Until the Mayo Clinic

On the 24th, I woke up with a headache - the same headache I've had for a while now. I can only describe it as a dehydration headache.

Do you ever have the feeling that sometimes you're an easy target because you're sick, and usually alone? I've felt that way the past week. I have certain friends who don't usually want anything to do with me until they need or want something. It shouldn't bother me, but it does. I felt I should write about it public-ally because it makes me feel worse than I already do. I also have a bad habit of not saying no. I need to fix this issue but then I'll be called selfish behind my back. I think I care too much about what other people think about me. It's a problem that I've had since middle school and I'm really not sure how to turn that switch off. But, I do need to find the off button. The last thing I need is to make myself even more ill over what someone thinks about me.

I think I have too much time to think. =)

My symptoms are still:

1. Swollen throat - it's hard to sip on water or swallow anything still.
2. Headache - my head still aches and my best guess is that it's because of dehydration.
3. Fever - chills and fever above 101. I can't keep down pills to get rid of it.
4. Teeth - my teeth are really sensitive on both sides so I can't really chew.
5. Vomiting/nausea - vomiting up green stomach acid. There is nothing left in my stomach and I have a dry mouth, too.

I'm going to take what medications I'm still allowed to take and lie down for a bit. I shouldn't be tired but I keep almost falling asleep, even just sitting up typing. I feel awful and a bit sad.

On the 26th, I didn't sleep for two days. I'm exhausted but it's been hard for me to sleep without getting up to vomit or from bouts of pain. I've had terrible, gastric spasms. I call them, "gastroparesis attacks." Everyone is pretty worried about me. I've also vomited myself into a throat infection and now, I'm on antibiotics, if I can keep them down.

I vomited day before yesterday and got fluids at the doctor. My blood pressure was 145/105. I was running a fever and I just want to cry. I'm terrified. I'm tired of vomiting and I'm tired of pain. The IV had to go into my foot because the nurse couldn't find veins anywhere else.

I go back to Mayo next week. I hope that they're able to help me. I'm having lab work done on Monday and I'm there for the entire week full of testing. I hope they'll hospitalize me and give me fluids. My urine is also dark in color which tells me that I'm dehydrated - that and I've only gone to the bathroom once today. That's not a good sign.

I had Miso soup and hot tea for dinner. I'm trying to do clear liquids. The Gatorade keeps coming back up so, I'm going to try clear liquids for a bit. I'm incredibly tired and I hope that I can sleep tonight. I managed to fall asleep around 2pm yesterday - just out of pure exhaustion. I didn't wake up until 1pm today. I hope I can sleep tonight because I REALLY need the rest.

I hope that my GP friends have a pain free and nausea free night. <3

My Weird Symptoms Today

Today, I'm feeling a bit off. I was up almost all night vomiting again and my throat is really swollen from vomiting. I can't even swallow a cracker, so my husband gave me a bottle of sore throat spray so that I could at least try some yogurt. It's somewhat hard to swallow now but at least I'm able to talk.

My symptoms today are unusual and I wonder if it's because I haven't been sleeping or the lack of food. I woke up from a short nightmare to a panic attack. I talked myself down out of it and tried to control my breathing. I felt like I was drowning. There was so much pressure on my chest.

When that was over, I felt extremely nauseated. It's always worse in the mornings but this was worse than I've felt in a long time. It is almost like the vomit is stuck in the middle of my throat, burning it more. It's not coming up and it's not going down. Eventually, I swallow it down. But, even with the Zofran and Phenergan, I'm still really, REALLY nauseous.

My skin has also been clammy and sweaty today and I keep sweating. I've had to change my shirt twice. It's a cold sweat though, so when I take a shower and get out, I'm still cold. Also, I'm running a low fever (that goes away with Tylenol or Ibuprofen) and I ache everywhere, mostly to the left of my right shoulder blade. I guess I may have jerked wrong during my nightmare... but I'm not sure. I guess it's possible that I could have pulled a muscle vomiting, too.

I also have confusion and loss of time, which I've had in the past, the night before my first 8 day hospital admission. The confusion part bothers me. I don't remember doing certain things and I get distracted a lot easier than I used to, and I get confused easily. It makes me feel stupid. I also do things that I know better than doing but do it anyway and then forget about it, like posting stupid things on Facebook. It's strange. I know that's probably not a symptom but I thought it was urgent enough to be mentioned.

Additionally, I lose track of days and track of time. I had to buy a pill box with the times on it so that I wouldn't double dose on medication, trying to remember if I took it or not.

I have absolutely no appetite today, whatsoever. The image of food makes me ill but I know I need to eat something. I have to make myself eat, which is the hard part. The last three days, I've eaten smaller meals (usually yogurt) five to six times a day. It's really, really hard to eat so frequently but I am trying to make an effort. Also, I've started walking after eating. I want to feel better but I just feel so miserable right now.

My fraternity brothers are coming over tonight to watch a movie with me and keep me company. I really could use the distraction. It's been a long week and the week still isn't over. We're going to either watch a sci fi/ fantasy movie, or a comedy, or both. We haven't decided yet.