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Showing posts with label scared. Show all posts
Showing posts with label scared. Show all posts

Thursday, August 23, 2018

Bringing Awareness to Cyber Bullying

There has been a lot of bullying going on within the chronically ill community, a lot of which has been in the gastroparesis community, which is the only one I can really speak on. Furthermore, I cannot speak on behalf of my friends, but I can tell you that I have been cyber bullied to the point where I wanted to leave all social media altogether. I thought that since we are all chronically ill, and that we all share the diagnosis of gastroparesis, that we were supposed to be united. Instead, people or groups who are chronically ill find a person to target and make their lives a living nightmare.

We, the chronically ill, face enough adversity from doctors, nurses, family, and friends; people who do not understand gastroparesis or think it is all in our head. I had this notion that we should be working together to promote understanding and educate those who may not know about our illness. I never, in a million years, thought I would be the target of cyber bullying by the people who were the ones who were supposed to understand more than anyone, by the people who were supposed to be there to be help to support you, and by the people I thought I could count on. I never thought that I would be the victim of cyber bullying. I wrote this in August of 2013, but I updated it to include current information on and about Cyber Bullying: http://www.emilysstomach.com/2017/08/cyber-bullying-and-gp-community.html

My article in The Mighty about Cyber Bullying can be found here: https://themighty.com/2018/09/cyberbullying-gastroparesis-chronic-illness-community/

And I want to be sure to drive this point home. Chronically ill people have higher statistics of suicide and suicidal thoughts. If you are cyber bullied on top of being ill, that is A LOT to deal with. I wrote a blog article about suicide here: http://www.emilysstomach.com/2014/10/sucide-and-chronic-illness.html

Here is an article from The Mighty with the statistics: https://themighty.com/2017/06/chronic-illness-increase-suicide-risk/

According to Comparitech,

"Cyberbullying Facts and Statistics for 2016-2018


Cyberbullying is on the rise worldwide. We've gathered both local (US) and global cyberbullying statistics, trends, and facts that help illustrate the extent of this growing problem. Our article focuses on cyberbullying data from 2016, 2017, and 2018 before delving into some older, but relevant stats.

By: Sam Cook, Data privacy, internet security, and cord-cutting expert.
November 12, 2018

*This list of cyberbullying statistics from 2016-2018 is regularly updated with the latest facts, figures and trends.

All technology these days produces both good results and notable consequences. The internet is increasingly a perfect case study for this idea. While better connecting the world and democratizing information, the internet has also allowed individuals to hide behind masks of anonymity. The “faceless evil” of the internet is a growing threat for teens, specifically when it comes cyberbullying. Despite a more recent ramping up of awareness campaigns, cyberbullying facts and statistics indicate the problem is not going away anytime soon.




Cyberbullying around the World

We analyzed the results of an Ipsos international survey of adults in 28 countries which reveal an increasing number of parents have children who have experienced some form of cyberbullying.

In total 20,793 interviews were conducted between March 23 – April 6, 2018 among adults aged 18-64 in the US and Canada, and adults aged 16-64 in all other countries.

Of particular interest are Russia and Japan. In both countries, parents expressed extremely high levels of confidence that their children did not experience cyberbullying of any kind.

Meanwhile, Indian parents remained among the highest to express confidence that their children were cyberbullied at least sometimes, a number that only grew from 2011 to 2018. Across Europe and the Americas, it also appears more parents are either becoming aware of their children’s negative experiences with cyberbullying, or their children are increasingly experiencing such attacks online.










Percentage of parents that report their child has been a victim of cyberbullying. 2011-2018 Survey Results




Global perspectives on cyberbullying




The following chart includes additional perspectives and insight into cyberbullying from a global scale, including:

Percent of respondents aware of cyberbullying as a concept
Number of countries responding where specific anti-bullying laws exist
Respondents who believe current laws are enough to handle cyberbullying cases.






Cyberbullying facts and statistics for 2016-2018

*This list of cyberbullying statistics from 2016-2018 is regularly updated with the latest facts, figures and trends.

All technology these days produces both good results and notable consequences. The internet is increasingly a perfect case study for this idea. While better connecting the world and democratizing information, the internet has also allowed individuals to hide behind masks of anonymity. The “faceless evil” of the internet is a growing threat for teens, specifically when it comes cyberbullying. Despite a more recent ramping up of awareness campaigns, cyberbullying facts and statistics indicate the problem is not going away anytime soon.
Recent statistics show steady growth in cyberbullying

A 2007 Pew Research study found 32 percent of teens have been victims of some type of cyberbullying. Nearly a decade later, a 2016 study by the Cyberbullying Research Center found those numbers were almost unchanged. By 2016, just under 34 percent of teens reported they were victims of cyberbullying. Meanwhile, the National Crime Prevention Council puts that number much higher, at 43 percent.

According to the Cyberbullying Research Center, which has been collecting data on the subject since 2002, that number has doubled since 2007, up from just 18 percent. Disagreements in statistics and data gathering methods aside, a minimal increase in cyberbullying is a distinct positive. It’s also an indication that the increasing attention on cyberbullying in the intervening years has done little to stem the tide.

Google Trends data indicates much more attention is focused on cyberbullying than ever before. The volume of searches for “cyberbullying” increased threefold since 2004:




Source: Google Trends



Research presented at the 2017 Pediatric Academic Societies Meeting revealed the number of children admitted to hospitals for attempted suicide or expressing suicidal thoughts doubled between 2008 and 2015. Much of the rise is linked to an increase in cyberbullying. (Source: CNN). More teen suicides are also now attributed in some way to cyberbullying (1, 2, 3) than ever before.

It appears bullying has effects beyond self-harm. Javelin Research finds that children who are bullied are 9 times more likely to be the victims of identity fraud as well.




Where and How Cyberbullying Occurs

While data on cyberbullying growth rates are sometimes difficult to come by, there’s a much larger body of information regarding where and how cyberbullying occurs. Just as with bullying before social media and internet forums, those who bully others typically look for two things: opportunity and attention.

In the internet age, the opportunity to bully others has only increased. Prior to the internet, a physical presence was often needed outside of spreading rumors. Now, bullying can occur immediately, to a much larger audience, and can spread much faster. Additionally, those who choose to bully others can get more immediate gratification from likes, shares, retweets, and the “piling on” effect that often occurs when others add to an already negative situation.

As one 2010 study found, bystanders can have a significant impact on vulnerable students’ risk for victimization. According to the study’s findings, bystanders can “moderate the effects of individual and interpersonal risk factors for victimization.” While the study was conducted on physical bullying, by extension, “bystanders” can have a significant impact in online interactions by either calling out such behavior or, lacking that, not responding and diminishing the attention cyberbullies may be hoping to receive.

Data from numerous studies also indicate that social media is now the favored medium for cyberbullies. Other formats are still in use as well, however, including text messaging and internet forums such as Reddit.



Recent stats include:

20.1 percent of reported that they were affected by online rumors. (Source: Cyberbullying Research Center)
Just over 7 percent of middle school and high school students had a mean or hurtful web page created about them. (Source: Cyberbullying Research Center)
In a survey of parents and adults across Asia, 79 percent reported that either their child or a child they know had been threatened with physical harm while playing online games. (Source: Telenor)
Cyberbullying often occurs on Facebook or through text messages. (Source: American Journal of Public Health)





Direct Impact of Cyberbullying on Teens and Adolescents

The long-lasting impacts of cyberbullying are difficult to ignore. Alongside the increasing number of suicides directly linked to cyberbullying, other consequences arise for bullying victims. One 2016 study discovered that bullying victims are more likely to engage in substance abuse and nonviolent delinquency. Other cyberbullying research (listed below) indicates that cyberbullying carries over into how students feel about their physical safety at school. Additionally, cyberbullying can negatively impact a student’s’ overall success by cutting into their motivation.



Key research on the impact of cyberbullying includes the following:

As of August 2016, 16.9 percent of middle and high school students identified themselves as cyberbully victims. (Source: Cyberbullying Research Center)
Among adolescents, 36.7 percent of female respondents stated they’d be the victim of cyberbullying at some point in their lifetime, compared to 30.5 percent of boys. (Source: Cyberbullying Research Center)
Most online behaviors and threats to well-being are mirrored in the offline world (Source: Perspectives on Psychological Science)
34 percent of students claimed to have been bullied online at least once in their lifetime. (Source: Florida Atlantic University)
17 percent of students explained that they’d been bullied sometime within the past 30 days. (Source: Florida Atlantic University)
Roughly 64 percent of students who claimed to have been cyberbullied explained that it negatively impacted both their feelings of safety and ability to learn at school. (Source: Florida Atlantic University)








Suicide Rates Cyberbullying
Source: CDC


According to a decade-long Florida Atlantic University study of 20,000 middle and high school students, 70 percent of students said that someone spread rumors about them online. (Source: Florida Atlantic University)
More than one in 10 students (12 percent) admitted to cyberbullying someone else at least once. (Source: Florida Atlantic University)
Girls are more likely to be victims of cybercrime (except for those bullied within the last 30 days), while boys are more likely to be cyberbullies. (Source: Florida Atlantic University)
There are significant cross-overs between in-person and online bullying. 83 percent of students who had been bullied online in the last 30 days had also been bullied at school. Meanwhile, 69 percent of students who admitted to bullying others online had also recently bullied others at school. (Source: Florida Atlantic University)
Adolescents who engaged in cyberbullying were more likely to be perceived as 'popular' by their peers. (Source: Journal of Early Adolescence).










A need for more broad-reaching and open research

One common theme emerged as we researched various aspects of cyberbullying—a stunning lack of data. This is not to say that research on cyberbullying isn’t there. Even a simple search in research databases will reveal thousands of articles covering the topic in some form. However, most research on cyberbullying is either small in scale or lacking in depth. Most research is also based on surveys, resulting in a large variation in the results from survey to survey.

The Florida Atlantic University study represents one of the best sources of information to date. However, more is needed, including a meta-analysis of the data gathered from many other sources. Until then, publically available cyberbullying statistics paint an incomplete picture of the ongoing issue.
Past research still holds value

Despite a lack of consistent publicly or easily-accessible data, a plethora of data from beyond 2015 can still help shed some valuable light on the issue. Past research and statistics reveal where cyberbullying has been and help reflect on why this issue is still a concern today.



Older data on cyberbullying include the following:

Most teenagers (over 80 percent) now use a mobile device regularly, opening them up to new avenues for bullying. (Source: Bullying Statistics)
Half of all young adults have experienced cyberbullying in some form. A further 10-20 percent reported experiencing it regularly. (Source: Bullying Statistics)
Cyberbullying and suicide may be linked in some ways. Around 80 percent of youth that commits suicide have depressive thoughts. Cyberbullying often leads to more suicidal thoughts than traditional bullying. (Source: JAMA Pediatrics)
More than half of all teens who use social media have witnessed cyberbullying. (Source: NoBullying.com)
Over 50 percent of surveyed teens say they never confide in their parents after being victimized by cyberbullies. (Source: NoBullying.com)
The website Nobullying.com recorded over 9.3 million visits in 2016 from people seeking help with bullying, cyberbullying and online safety. (Source: NoBullying.com</a>)
Almost 43 percent of kids have been cyberbully victims. Around 25 percent have been victimized more than once. (Source:
DoSomething.org)








Source: DoSomething.org

Nine out of 10 teens who have been bullied through social media report that they’ve ignored it. A further 84% said they’ve seen others attempt to stop cyberbullies. (Source: DoSomething.org)
A UK survey of more than 10,000 youths discovered that 69 percent reported doing something about abusive online behavior directed toward another person. (Source: DoSomething.org)
The same U.K. survey also discovered that 71 percent of young adults believe social networks do not do enough to prevent cyberbullying. (Source: DoSomething.org)

Looking for more internet-related stats? Check out our roundup of identity theft stats and facts for 2017 -2019, or our Cybercrime statistics which runs to 100+ facts and figures."





Source: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=imgres&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwi3t9f7oITdAhUvneAKHd4WBzIQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.slideshare.net%2Fparulata%2Fabhishek-cyber-bullying&psig=AOvVaw2p615526q1dftVgPza3vZ6&ust=1535150920149901



Cyber bullying is a big deal. There have been cases of people committing suicide over being cyber bullied. The first person that comes to mind is Gabriella "Gabbie" Green, who committed suicide in January because of cyber bullying.

I wanted to bring this into the light and talk about this issue because words do hurt, more than people realize, and cyber bullying has become a BIG problem. I want to bring awareness to this issue because it might help save someone's life.

There is NO excuse for cyber bullying. I was just so shocked to learn that it was happening in the chronically ill community, not just the gastroparesis community. I understand that we are all sick and that we all have bad days, and that does happen when you have a chronic illness. However, that does not give a person a right to bully someone else. I do not understand the reason behind the cyber bullying or why people need to hurt others like that. With gastroparesis, this kind of stress for days (in my personal experience, I was cyber bullied across all of the social media sites I made an account with) can cause a horrible gastroparesis attack that may land people in the hospital.




Source: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=imgres&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiCmqn4oITdAhUnneAKHYvvD0YQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.girlsarepowerful.com%2Fwhat-is-cyberbullying%2F&psig=AOvVaw06_ZcH1jHEf3UY5CNmcaRL&ust=1535150913398991



People need to understand that words hurt and can do some real damage. You never know what struggles the person on the other end of the computer may be facing. All people see is what is posted online, and that is it. The people who are cyber bullying may not realize that the person they are terrorizing just had a death in the family, had surgeries, or just found out they have another illness which could kill them at any moment. Like I said, you never really know what is going on in someone else’s life. I guess the chronically ill are easy targets for cyber bullying because people assume we are too weak and sick to stand up for our principles on the matter, but we are not.

I always envisioned ALL of the chronically ill, from fibromyalgia to gastroparesis, working together to get information out there and to help others whom battle chronic illnesses, especially if they are newly diagnosed. It is not about ganging up on people, controlling groups, pages, who has the most members on Facebook, etc. It is great to have so many options for support, and people can join more group. Joining groups on Facebook should not be a competition and the person should not be cyber bullied for making a decision on a group that fits them.

It's about support, pure and simple.



Source: https://west.ite.edu.sg/_layouts/showcase/2016/mwd/junhong/images/cyberbullying_diff_1.jpg



There are so many obstacles that we have to go through with gastroparesis, we shouldn't manufacture more, we should stand united. We need to educate those who may not know about gastroparesis and what that entails. It's August, Gastroparesis Awareness Month. We should rally together to educate, not tear each other down. Divided we fall, united we conquer.

I want to talk about cyber bullying, since I'm experiencing it firsthand, and what it's doing to the gastroparesis community and other chronic illness communities. I also want to help others who may be going through the same things. It's hard being bullied, especially if Facebook will not listen and you don't have any other recourse. I'll share some things I have learned and some tips from an anti-bullying site that I found. We should be lifting each other up, support one another, and working together to make a difference. All of this in community fighting hasgo ton stop before someone is pushed to suicide. While having gastroparesis is hard enough, and I will repeat this again because it’s important, we face enough adversity from doctors, nurses, ER staff, etc., we don't need it from each other.




Source: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=imgres&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjFuMPtoITdAhUQPN8KHQJcAToQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.slideshare.net%2FYumnaAli6%2Fcyber-bullying-72410753&psig=AOvVaw0gw3aE5Gs7aMvX67PpT1of&ust=1535150890025499







Source: Imgur




So, here's what you can do to avoid cyber bullying.

1. Do not feed the troll. What I mean by that is, do not give the person fuel for their fire to keep attacking you. As hard as it is, stay silent. These people crave attention and will try to get it by any means necessary. There is a wonderful article that states,

"Narcissists and Psychopaths Online: The Narcissism of Cyberbullying and Trolling
by Shahida Arabi

Cyberspace provides malignant narcissists and those who have antisocial traits with easy access to victims and minimal effort. A recent study showed that online trolls demonstrated high degrees of sadism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism. Conclusion? In the words of Dr. Golbeck, internet trolls are narcissists, psychopaths and sadists.

This should come to no surprise to anyone who has encountered trolls or cyberbullies – they are notorious for attempting to provoke people in order to derive sick feelings of satisfaction that they apparently can’t get anywhere else. Their lack of compassion, tact and empathy when bullying others online is evident in the way they brandish their ill-informed opinions indiscriminately regardless of context, eagerly hoping to get recognition for their malice.

Cyberbullying and trolling are strategic ways for narcissists who lack adequate narcissistic supply or who are experiencing boredom to get a quick “fix” without being held accountable for their abuse.

In the context of intimate relationships, survivors of narcissistic abuse, an insidious form of psychological and emotional abuse that can cause what psychotherapist Christine Canon de Louisville calls “Narcissistic Victim Syndrome,” may be stalked, harassed and cyberbullied for years even after the ending of the relationship, especially if they were the ones to discard the narcissist first by exiting the relationship altogether.



Source: http://www.pngdown.com/research-paper-on-cyber-bullying/the-real-effects-of-cyber-bullying-nobullying-cyberbullying-research-paper-infogr/




To Report Bullying on Facebook

There are different ways to go about reporting being cyber bullied on Facebook. First and foremost, I would take screenshots of everything sent your way and keep it in a file.

Tom's Guide gives you step by step instructions on how to report bullying to Facebook: https://www.tomsguide.com/us/report-abuse-on-facebook,review-3591.html

You can also report abusive content on Facebook and this will show you how: https://blog.avast.com/how-to-stand-up-against-a-cyber-buylling-on-facebook

Here is another way to report abusive content on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/help/181495968648557

The government also has tips on what you can do if you're being cyber bullied: https://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/cyberbullying-tactics/index.html

Prevent Cyber Bullying: http://stopcyberbullying.org/reportfbabuse/

How to Stop Bullying on Facebook: https://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Bullying-on-Facebook


If you have been cyber bullied on Facebook, this article talks about how to get your dignity back and how to rebuild your reputation: https://www.makeuseof.com/tag/abused-bullied-harassed-on-facebook-6-ways-to-get-back-your-dignity-weekly-facebook-tips/







When a narcissist suffers from an offense to their false sense of superiority and entitlement, they endure what is known as a narcissistic injury, often followed by narcissistic rage. This rage is a result of an injury to their ego when something or someone threatens their delusions of grandeur and “false self.”

Since survivors often implement No Contact with their abusers, narcissistic abusers feel a loss of power and attempt to regain that power through tactics like provocation, hoovering and post-breakup triangulation techniques.

On the internet, narcissists and those who have antisocial traits employ similar manipulation tactics in cyberspace to provoke and harm complete strangers.

Bullying in any form, especially anonymous bullying, can lead to devastating results. Research indicates that cyberbullying in schools leads to a higher rate of suicidal ideation and suicide attempts in victims of cyberbullying. There have been a number of suicides that were triggered by the words of anonymous sadists – the suicides of many teenagers, for example, were a direct result of cyberbullying.

Cyberbullying and trolling leave such a terrible psychological impact that there is even a movement against anonymous comments sections on media outlets. Since there is little accountability for cyberbullies and the laws against it in each state may not protect victims entirely from emotional abuse, it often goes unchecked and unpunished. If cyberbullies are ever reprimanded, it is usually after the fact of a tragic suicide or another form of publicity that draws attention to the consequences of cyberbullying.

Cyberbullying can also be retraumatizing and invalidating for survivors of abuse and trauma. Specifically, in the narcissistic abuse survivor community, narcissists tend to support other narcissists and both survivors as well as professionals may come under attack for speaking their truth about narcissistic abuse. There is, unfortunately, a great deal of victim-blamers and enablers online who support the actions of abusers or vilify advocates that expose the predatory nature of abusers with Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Antisocial Personality Disorder."
The article can be found here if you would like to read then rest of it: Narcissists and Psychopaths Online: The Narcissism of Cyberbullying and Trolling by Shahida Arabi




Source: Located on the Image.





2. Block these people. They have no control over your life unless you let them. You are better off without these toxic people in your lives. You ARE important, and don't let these people have control over what you do.

3. Write yourself an email. Every time these people hurt you and you want to say something back, write yourself an email and send it to yourself to get your feelings out. That way, you don't bottle it up and you can get out what you want to say. You don't need to send it to anyone else, this is just for you.

4. Do not be scared. Don't be scared to login to Facebook or wherever these trolls might be lurking. That would be giving them power over you. Don't let them. You're better than that, and like it or not, these people are going to be everywhere so there is really not a way to avoid them.

5. Do not give in. These people want something from you, don't give it to them. Bullies usually won't stop until they can get what they want. I will give an example. This is a popular one - in movies and T.V. shows - bullies want lunch money. They will not stop punching you in the gut until they get it and run off. So, don't give the bullies your "lunch money."

6. Do not stop living your life. The thing with bullies is that they will try to interrupt as much of your life as possible. Do not let them. The world spins on. You should keep living your life and do not let them make you deviate from it, because that is their goal.




Source: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=imgres&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjFuMPtoITdAhUQPN8KHQJcAToQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.slideshare.net%2FYumnaAli6%2Fcyber-bullying-72410753&psig=AOvVaw0gw3aE5Gs7aMvX67PpT1of&ust=1535150890025499





I would also check with your state and see what laws they may have in place about cyber bullying. If you are currently being cyber bullied, do not give up. I had to block many people on Facebook when I would first log in. You can also report those people, located on a drop down menu on their cover page, before you block them to let Facebook know. You can also look up their guidelines and there is an email address they give you to send your difficulties to them. Additionally, there are support groups on Facebook for cyber bullying you can join. I would also recommend talking with a psychiatrist about it, because your mental health is important, especially with gastroparesis, or any chronic illness.



Here is my group that I started to raise awareness about cyber bullying, and also to give a safe group environment for those being bullied right now:

 
Gastroparesis & Cyber Bullying
Closed group · 5 members
Join Group
Cyber bullying is a serious issue on Facebook. People have killed themselves over it. I've been a victim of it myself and I got anxiety attacks when...
 

















According to http://heyugly.org/cyberbullying,





This is another great article! You should read it in its entirety.


According to https://www.bullying.co.uk/cyberbullying/how-to-deal-with-cyberbullying/,



"It's very upsetting to get abusive emails, instant messages and to have nasty websites or social network profiles set up to invite people to post offensive remarks about you. This is called cyber bullying.

dealing with cyberbullying
There are ways that people who send emails can be tracked by internet service providers and the police. All emails carry information which shows the path the email has taken to get to your computer.

Internet service providers (ISP) have contact email addresses for complaints about email and Cyber Bullying coming from their network and this will normally be abuse@hotmail.com, abuse@btinternet.com or whichever system the sender is using. Don't reply to the email or delete it, get your parents to forward the whole thing to the sender's ISP.

We closed down a series of message boards in the Hertfordshire/north London area where pupils were being identified by name, school and year and others were invited to post abuse about them. These boards have been reported to Hertfordshire Police following complaints to us by parents and pupils.

Among problems we identified were:

A death threat
Numerous bogus messages posted in the names of people being targeted
A boy who lost all his friends as a result of postings made in his name
Numerous threats of violence
A girl who tried to kill herself due to abuse
a teenager on anti-depressants and afraid to go out due to threats
Sending abuse by email or posting it into a web board can be harassment and if this has happened to you then your parents or carers need to make a complaint to the police.

All message boards run by private individuals are hosted by firms and you can often find an address to complain to in the 'help' section of the board. In our experience firms usually act swiftly to shut down the board because allowing abuse to be posted is against their terms and conditions."



Source: On Image





Source: https://edtech4beginners.com/2017/03/21/how-do-you-deal-with-cyber-bullying-in-schools/




Source: http://sybasigns.com.au/digital-resources/web-2-0/digital-resource-freedom-from-cyber-bullying

Monday, November 19, 2012

GI Doctor Visit Today

I went and saw my doctor. I didn't sleep last night because I vomited ALL NIGHT LONG! Ugh. I was feeling fairly OK until I got to the waiting room. Some of the doctors were running behind and it smelled like all of the women there had bathed in cheap gas station incense before sitting down. I stood up by the door, instead of sitting down, and eventually ended up sitting in the hallway with an emesis basin until I was called back into a room.

The doctor looked over all of my notes and basically told me that he didn't know what else he could do for me. He told me that I had a Motility disorder, nothing structural wrong, which I knew. I was diagnosed with Gastroparesis in March of this year.

None of the drugs are working for me (I've been on Bentyl, Zofran, Phenergan, Levsin, Motilium, and Nortriptyline). The Motility Specialist my GI doctor sent me to said my GP wasn't severe enough for her to treat. I think she's very wrong.

So, my GI doctor is referring me to the Mayo Clinic for treatment and I'm a bit scared. I vomit 6 to 8 times a day. I stay full for days, even up to a week and a half. I never seem to have gastric emptying - it's mostly all vomited back up. He's also testing my liver enzymes again, since they're usually high.

I've had severe insomnia because I stay up most nights just throwing up. I'm exhausted and my throat is burnt. I'm not hungry and my stomach is swollen. I'm just miserable.

My question to those more experienced than myself - what can I expect from the Mayo Clinic? Do you know how long it will take to get an appointment there? What are the treatment options when the drugs are failing to work? Has anyone else had much luck controlling their gastroparesis with the Mayo Clinic?

I've found these TREATMENT OPTIONS provided by the Mayo Clinic. None of them sound fun and I'm scared to death of a feeding tube.

I'm just scared I'm never going to finish college at this point.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Day 6 - Day After Surgery (Oxygen Issues Again)


This marks the sixth day of my hospital visit. I'm waiting on the lab results to see if any of my enzymes have gone down. My side is still in some pretty bad pain from yesterday and my throat is sore. I hope they feed me today. I'm really REALLY hungry. Also, I have a fever but my blood pressure went down to 127/80. That's good news! Hopefully, it will stay down. It goes down with the pain medication. I don't think they'll send me home today but I'm not sure. They want to make sure that I don't develop pancreatitis.

You can read more about Pancreatitis HERE.


I was able to catch a couple of cat naps last night but woke up to horrible pain. I'm really exhausted. I'm hoping that when I get my Dilaudid and my Phenergan in a hour that I'll go to sleep. I think I'm going to stay up for a bit and see if food comes.

I think I overheard them saying in the surgical room last night that I could resume a liquid diet this morning. I thought I also overheard them saying when they took the breathing tube out that I stopped breathing for a few seconds. They had to put a breathing tube in an sedate me completely for the procedure because I had been vomiting so much. The anesthesiologist said that he didn't want me to vomit during the procedure and then drown in my vomit.

I'm not sure if I really did hear that or if it was imagined. I imagine it was true because they put me on more oxygen and kept me on it. My oxygen levels did go down to 80 day before yesterday. I wonder why it keeps doing that? It's worrisome. So, I have to wear oxygen all of the time now.

Right now, I'm just anxious. I'm scared about classes, I'm scared about the future, I mean, what if this isn't the solution? What if I keep getting liver stones? I also don't know what to do about the gastroparesis. I'm going to ask my doctor today if he found any results from my Smart Pill test later.

I need to make a follow up appointment with my knee doctor. Next up, is the trial surgery. *sigh*


UPDATE: The doctor just came in to talk to me about my ERCP. She said that the sphincter they were worried about was almost closed shut. When the doctor made the ERCP incision, he released it which caused all of this "gunk" to flow out of it. That included blackish looking sludge along with gravel shaped stones. So, their theory of the sphincter was right on the money. My labs are slowly going down and the doctor is going to increase my pain medicine (since I just had surgery and it's wearing off quicker now) and advance my food this evening. If all goes well, they're going to send me home. Again, they want to make sure that I don't develop pancreatitis.

I should have asked her for something to help me sleep. I haven't slept almost the entire time I've been in the hospital. I'm exhausted and I hurt. I can't get comfy. So, I guess we'll wait. I'll keep you guys updated.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Motility Specialist Appt Tomorrow

Well, I had a bit of a mix up today. One pain management doctor referred me to another. Now, I don't know who to call for refills. Finally, after phone calls to both offices, and after my new doctor telling me that he doesn't call in pain medicine, I finally got both of my prescriptions refilled.

Also, my insurance doesn't cover Lyrica, which is for nerve damage/pain. They will cover Neurontin, so my doctor called that in instead. I start it tonight and I hope that it helps. Maybe it will calm down my stomach enough to keep me from vomiting, pending that it stays down.

I see the Motility specialist in the morning. I'm a bit nervous and I'm not sure what to expect. I know that I need to ask her about the implant the pain management doctor recommends and how that would work with a pacemaker in my stomach if they decide to go that route. Maybe they'll do a gastric bypass ... I'm not sure. The GP is so severe that any relief would be possible.

The drug cocktail I'm on now, that I can keep down anyway, is making me incredibly sleepy. I've slept for the past two days. I'm not entirely sure if that's from shear exhaustion or the drugs.

I need to think up a list of questions for the motility specialist. I think she's going to give me a diet to follow - but I've already cut out all of the gluten. I've been almost on a liquid diet. But everything I eat, like clockwork two hours later comes right back up. Soup, drinks, etc, it doesn't matter. It ALL comes back up.

To be sure that it wasn't food spoiling in my stomach, I went two days without eating (well, I forgot to eat to be honest), so there was NOTHING in my stomach. I ate half of a can of tomato soup followed by some V8 kiwi strawberry juice. I did this around 11:30pm and two hours later, it all came back up.

I'm just tired of not being able to eat. I want to be normal again. I'd like to go and see the new Batman movie, but I can't. The smell of popcorn alone would make me ill. I want to hike and drive without throwing up. I just feel lost and hopeless sometimes. I hope this doctor can help me. I would be game for almost anything to be able to be normal. I want to finish school - I only have a year left to become a Geologist. I'm scared that I won't be able to take classes this fall unless it's an online class. Also, if I have the surgery, I don't want to start out the semester like that. I would like one semester where I can attend classes without ANY absences and coherent so that I can actually learn what I need to know. I'm just so scared.

I'm just so uncertain of what the future holds and that scares me. I really want to graduate. I've worked so hard to graduate. It's so hard to explain to my professors how sick I am. You can tell people you're sick, but they won't understand until they see it for themselves. I had friends come over to hang out with me and they didn't realize how bad it was until I went to the bathroom about 6 to 8 times while they were at my house.

I wonder if anyone else with GP has this issue. I just don't want a feeding tube. I'm scared of that option. I don't think it will come to that, but I have been losing a lot of weight. I've dropped a pants size and a bra size. This isn't the way I wanted to lose the weight. I gained a lot of weight after the knee problems. But, I didn't want to starve myself. I want to eat my favorite foods again. I know all of this sounds completely selfish because I know there are people who have this worse than me.

My mother told me today that my grandfather had something similar. He would vomit after eating too. I'm not sure if he had gastroparesis or not, and I can't ask him now, which makes me sad because I miss him so much. I am not even sure if it's hereditary.

I guess I'll have more to report tomorrow after I talk to the specialist. Please wish me luck!